The sex is good, but...

I can't believe Freaky Friday is upon us so soon once again.

While most of us enjoy sex with our partners, and sometimes strangers that we don't really know, but are we really careful are we when it comes to taking inventory of our partner's body? When was the last time you took your time to look at somebody's genital area?

I'm not gonna talk about the dangers of HIV and AIDS because most people are aware of the fact that a condom or abstinence is your best weapon against them. I also want to save that post for a later time.However, too many of us are too careless when it comes to other sexually transmitted diseases. I truly believe one of the best defense mechanism against STD's is a bright light. Way before you even slip on that condom, the light should be your best disease detector. Too many people enjoy having sex in the dark that they neglect to take inventory of their partner's body and genetalia. Sometimes the disease is right in front of us, but we don't take the time to look at it because we're so eager to penetrate.

The Center for Disease Control has stated that 50% of African-American women have been diagnosed with herpes. How can you truly detect if someone is infected if you're having unprotected sex with them in the dark? You need to turn that light on an inspect the private parts of your partner before you dig deep into that dome of pleasure. Visible sores are a sign of herpes, syphillis and other possible diseases, not just on the genital, but also on the mouth. It's the same thing for men. Ladies, don't be shy about holding on to that penis to make sure it's disease free. Turn on the light and inspect! Both men and women can be infected through oral as well as intercourse. I know that sores are not always visible, but please look for redness on the genitals, because it is possible that your partner may be infected without knowing it. Herpes, Syphillis and Hepatitis C are all serious diseases, and we need to limit the exposure of these diseases one person at a time in our community. If your partner is against having the light on before engaging in sex, you need to be alarmed.

So next time you're with that shy girl/guy who doesn't want you to turn the light on before you have sex with her/him, tell 'em it's for the sake of both of you to look over every inch of each other's genital.  Meanwhile, continue to have great sex and safe sex.

It's about time Trump keeps his mouth shut!

Trump has been a media whore for the last few months, trying to build momentum for a political career that may not go anywhere. His racial undertone in undermining president Obama has been just as sick as those racist "birthers" that he has aligned himself with. First of all, Trump is not politically or globally aware. I highly doubt he even knows the different continents of the world. I would not be surprised if he thinks Africa is a country. Trump is really one dimensional. Just watch any interview that he has done. I say all this to say that Trump's political platform  is weak because in his own store and backyard everything is made in China, while he tries to take a fake political stand against manufacturing jobs being outsourced to China. You can go to Macy's and check the labels on 99% of Trump apparels and you will find a "Made in China" tag on them. This hypocrytical, dirty hustler has been riding his show, The Apprentice, for the last 10 seasons, because we all know that the realestate market has been a bust. The show has now become his primary source of income. We need to eliminate that.

Trump now makes more money on television than he's making through his investment hodlings, so don't believe the hype. If The Apprentice gets cancelled, so will his livelihood and he knows this, which is one of the reasons why he's trying to create a new platform, any platform for a politcical career. I always call a spade a spade and Trump is as racist as they come. How dare he questions the academic career of our president? This is insulting to all black people! This is the one moment where we must unite to put a stop to this trainwreck before Trumps starts to believe he's invincible, or a viable choice to become president. He's done good having inherited a business that his father started many years ago and took it to new heights, but don't be fooled to think that Trump is a self-made man. He's only been able to build his soon to be crumbling empire because of other people's money. We need to stop watching his show on TV and hurt him in the wallet, where it matters,  so he can keep his racist rants out of the media. Let's remind everyone how much of an opportunist that he is by making sure his show on NBC is cancelled for next season. Meanwhile, let's ask him why 99% of the Trump brand is made in China as he continues to try to use manufacturing jobs overseas as a platform for his political career?

Can your dirty mind help your sex life?

TGIFF (Thank Goodness It's Freaky Friday) again!

The days of being a sexual conservative are not all gone, but those conservatives seem to have the dirtiest minds. Most men enjoy a woman who's able to keep her freakiness inconspicuous to the public, but obviously-freaky looking women are not lacking any action either. They say those who can, usually don't talk about it, but that's not always true.

A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste. Most people are stimulated verbally before they can become sexually aroused. Don't for a minute think that you are abnormal just because you have a dirty mind. To place restrictions on yourself because of what others may think or say about you, is almost the same as denying yourself the right to pleasure. I'm not saying that everyone is in tune with their dirty mind, or is turned on by a dirty  mind, but your mind can take your sexual life to great heights, if you allow it. A sexual act alone is not 100 percent satisfying all the time. A plain sexual act is like a silent movie where you're watching the action, but you wish you could hear what the characters are saying. So, why not tell your partner what you want and how you want it. Let him know that his tongue on your body is making you shiver; tell him the smooth caress of your skin sends chills up your spine; show her appreciation for the effort that she's putting in trying to please you with her hands or mouth; let her know that her picture perfect body drives you insane; tell her how you wanna heavenly please her. Of course, that's just my clean way of saying all those dirty things. I bet you have a great imagination and you can find better suited words to soothe his/her ego while making him/her succumb to your sexual prowess.

When you do a great job at work, you always enjoy encouraging words from your boss, because it shows appreciation, right? Why wouldn't it be the same way in the bedroom? Tell her, "I love the way you ride the heck hell out my #$%#!" She'll apreciate it. Tell him how he makes you feel when he goes deep to unchartered territories. He'll love it! You don't have to be with each other to get the foreplay started. Get her moist with a sensual text before she sets foot in the house. Guys are so easily turned on, a simple, "I can't wait for you to get home to f#$% the hell outta me" will get them home 20 minutes earlier than normal. They'll find shortcuts on the way home that you didn't know existed.

Men and women are visual, so don't feel shy about sending him/her a picture with a little message telling him/her that, "It's happy, hard and cannot wait to visit your tunnel of pleasure, or it's purring for your thrust." I know I'm not the only one who has ever sent a dirty picture through a text. I enjoy receiving them, too. You're only sharing your partner's favorite body parts with him/her. Get him/her all hot and bothered minutes before he/she arrives at your door. The sex will be explosive!

Stop acting like a prude and get your dirty talk on! The only thing you'll get out of it is a great performance and pleasure. Go ahead, please yourself!

Are you allowing racism to impede your success, growth and development?

It would be ludicrous of me to imply that racism is no longer existent in America, even under the leadership of a black president. In light of the racist picture of president Obama featured with a monkey family released by Marilyn Davenport who's an elected official, we know that racism is deeply rooted in this country and there's no sign of it being eradicated any time soon. However, we must learn to beat them at their own game. We have to prove to them that we are better than they think we are.

While it may be true that white folks hold the key to certain people's future as far as a career or job is concerned, we don't necessarily have to allow them to create roadblocks on our path to success. We have to be more dilligent in transcribing their racist attitudes. Most of us don't think much about a cop pulling us over without just-cause, most of the time, because we don't get a ticket. That should never be the correct reaction to their action. We have to be proactive  and make sure this police officer's bahavior does not continue. We have to start filing  complaints against rogue cops. If no complaint is filed, a cop has a clean record, as far as the department is concerned. There's no just way to determine whether or not an employer has used discriminatory practices, but don't ever dismiss the possibility. You should always ask questions as to why you didn't get the job if you feel qualified for the position. Don't get pushed out of a position because the employer thinks you're less qualified because of your complexion and not your qualification and ability. You can always file a complaint against an employer with the Attorney General's office. No complaint = a clean record.

You should never walk around with a defeated attitude and think that all white people are alike. On the contrary, there are many white people and white companies that welcome diversity. We've come a long way, but we have an even longer trek ahead. Just imagine if Jackie Robinson never broke the color barrier in baseball? What about all those other pioneers who were first in every field in America? Can you imagine what they endured at the height of racism in America? These people have suffered in order to pave the way for us, so we cannot give up on their struggle to build a better country with better opportunities for ourselves. We've always had to fight for what we have, and that fight will probably continue til the end of time. While white people enjoy the benefits of a melting pot society and like to boast "diversity," we must also reap the fruits of this society as well.

We are a very talented people in all facet of life. We are trend setters, entrepreneurs, leaders, entertainers, intelligent, beautiful, resilient, passionate, loving, multi-faceted and most of all, gifted. Let's not allow somebody's ignorance to keep us from striving. No more excuses!

Success is a state of mind. Nobody will achieve if you believe that you can't.

The emasculation of the black man

While living life as a black man in America can be a daily struggle and difficult enough as it is, too many of us are displaying behaviors detriment to our treatment here by other people. It appears as if every other race seems to have a vendetta against black men because of society's bad perception of us. It doesn't matter whether you're a doctor, lawyer, president, writer, engineer, governor, garbage man, maintenance worker and teacher, we all seem to get the worst treatment in sociey as a whole. For those of you who actually choose to sell drugs to your own people and feel that your actions are justified because of the hardships that you face, you're just soft and not strong enough to be a man. I have yet to write a memoir because I don't think it's time yet. However, hardship and struggle lived at my doorstep from the time I was a teenager when I was forced to leave home and almost had to fend for myself. The easy(some people actually think it's easier to sell drugs than getting a job) drug money and other petty crimes weren't oblivious to me, but I chose to stay focused in order to keep, not just my integrity, but also my sanity and pride. I wanted to be a man, not just some punk who felt going to prison had to be a rite of passage for all black men.

It's all good for the former drug dealers to recognize their mistakes after serving time, and some of them even end up capitalizing on their mistakes by writing about it in books that so many people have developed voracious appetites for. However, on the grand scale of things, your poor decisions and your mistakes have cost an entire race of black men their dignity and pride at the hands of police and society as a whole. Those of us who took pride enough in ourselves to do the right thing by attending college to become lawyers, doctors, engineers, and even those who have buckled down to maintain menial jobs to feed their families, have suffered the consequences of your actions. Do you know how embarrassing it is to be pulled over on the highway and to have your hands placed on the hood of your BMW or Mercedes that you work so hard to pay for, because a few drug dealers have enjoyed the same choice of luxury? Have you ever been pulled over just because you are a black man and the cop wants to keep you from getting to work or your destination on time because he has to make sure your car is legit? Do you how denigrating it is to be followed around in a store because you're a black man? Do you know the frustration we experience when people's assumptions of us is always criminally related?

The real questtion is, who's emasculating us? Are we the main culprit in our emasculation?

I'm sure many people will stand up to remind me that white people commit crimes and do all the things that are associated with black people as well. To be honest, I don't really care about what white people are doing, because we don't have as much of an impact on their lives as they do on ours. When was the last time you saw a group of black cops beating on a white man in a video? When was the last time you saw a white man getting pulled over for driving while white? Have you ever heard of an unarmed white man getting shot to death by cops? I can go on and on, but the point that I want to make is that we need to change our direction. We need to become the leaders that we were born to be and stop using lame excuses for our failures. The next time you're out there thinking about committing a crime, just think about the impact it will have on a generation of men that are not even born yet. Your poor decision in life will impact the life of my future son, your son, the neighbor's son, your brother's son and anybody out there that you don't know who end up with a black son.

Let's put a stop to the emasculation of oursleves!

How do you spruce up your sex life?

TGIFF(Thank Goodness It's Freaky Friday)

Face it, monotony is a part of life and no matter how fresh you try to keep the excitement in your life, the events are bound to become routine after a while. This is especially true for couples who have been together for a long time. While some will argue that they find ways to keep their sexual life exciting and fresh, we all know that we can't be that creative 365 days a year, if we should be so lucky to have sex that often. The average married couple, believe it or not, only has sex 4 to 6 times a month. I was married and I can honestly say those figures were very lowball in my life.

While most of us limit our sexual experience to the bedroom, there's a group of adventurers who like to take their sex life to new heights. The bedroom has become the bored room for them and every and anywhere else has become ideal to keep them sexually engaged. The voyeuristic types enjoy the chance of being watched by others, or even getting caught by the authorities. The adrenaline rush a person can get from performing in front of an uninvited audience is enough to keep the blood flowing endlessly. The swingers make our sex life sound tame, as they get a chance to experience different partners and remove monogamy from the relationship. I'm sure some of us can agree that having a new partner can be exciting because of the anticipation of the unknown. However, this post is about monogomous couples who want to spruce up their sex life.

My personal opinion is that sex can only be as limited as your mind. Once you remove the limitations, sex can be exciting forever, no matter how long you've been with your partner. Just understand that most people don't enjoy boredom and even many more get tired of the same routine. Missionary, doggystyle, riding, even oral sex are just simple parts of sex. There's so much more to it than that. Don't cheat yourself, instead, you should treat yourself. Nothing should be too nasty to do to please your partner. The tongue is a very essential part of sex, use it for arousal, excitement and climax. Your hands can do wonders if you know how to use them. Start practicing using your hands to please your partner, just make sure they are clean. Your mouth is not just made for talking and eating, use your mouth to please your partner. Kiss him/her where she/he's never been kissed before. Even your toes and feet can add pleasure to your sex life, make the best of them. Your sexual organs are not the only pleasure zone. We already know what we can get out of using our sexual organs, but how do you maximize your pleasure with them? Caress those southern lips; lick that clitoris; stimulate the anus; those breasts are not only to suck on, caress them; kiss her back; lick everything on her body; rub his chest, shoulders, legs, thighs and arms; don't be afraid to play with the penis, it won't bite; lick everything on his body. How about I let you use your imagination for the rest...

What are some of the things that you're doing to spruce up your sex life?

You don't think your kids are paying attention?

Too many people don't give a second thought to what they're exposing their children to. In my past work experience, I noticed how too many mothers carelessly dragged their kids to the welfare office to talk to their caseworker about foodstamps, section 8 and other necessities for their families. Often times, they are frustrated and angry and it's never a pleasant experience. I've also seen people roll blunts and freely light them up in the presence of their young children without any consideration for the child's health. Some parents have no problem sending their young kids to the fridge to fetch them a beer. I have even heard parents ask their children to light up their cigarette for them. Smoking around their children has become second nature. Are you kidding me? Why wouldn't these kids grow up feeling it's okay to make these habits a part of their adult life?

When we expose children to our bad habits early in life, we are limiting their choices, because kids tend to emulate behaviors diplayed by their parents. In order to help our children develop good habits, we have to acquire and display those good habits as well. You should not be surprised that your kid knows how to curse like a sailor by the age of five, if that's all she/he's ever heard coming out of your mouth(I have to catch myself sometimes). Children need molding, structure, discipline and more than anything, good examples. If you're setting poor examples for your children, don't be surprised if their lives turn out to be like yours or worst.

The next time you decide you want to go to the bank to make a deposit or withdrawal, take your child with you and explain the process to him/her. The next time you need to research something at the library, bring that child with you. It's always a good example when your kids can see you get up everyday to take yourself to work. Sitting around the house all day long and moping will only suggest to a child that life can go on without having a job, responsibility and all will be provided for, however limited that lifestyle may be.

Please pay attention to what you're exposing your children to!

What is the method of your success?

Often times we see folks that are successful and we wonder how we can obtain the same level of success as those we admire. However, it's always too personal to go up to a stranger to ask them about their path to success. I'm hoping this post will encourage some folks to come share with us their formula for success. And since I'm the author of this post, I should probably get it started.

Though I don't think I have yet reached the pinnacle of success that I have set for myself, I believe I've done relatively well in the last ten years. While most people believe that you need a huge amount of money in order to get started on the path of success, I found it to be the contrary. I remember when I was an anxious "go getter" back in the late 90's when my entrepreneurial spirit was at an all time high. It was the beginning of the real estate boom and I set out to get a piece of the pie. As a teacher, I wasn't making much money, but I knew how to save and also had other legal side hustles to supplement my income. I managed to save about $10,000.00 and that set me on a path to real estate success. I started out by purchasing a multi-family home that needed more repairs than I could afford to pay a contractor to complete. I found myself learning how to do many things that I didn't know I had the talent to do.  In no time, I was putting up sheetrock, finishing hardwood floors, painting walls, making sure the plumbing was right and fixing anything that would cost me more than a hundred dollars to pay somebody else to fix. That first house netted me almost six figures in profits after I sold it. Everything else just catapulted from there. By 2006, I had already purchased about 10 homes and made too much money than I could count. I never anticipated the real estate bust as did many other folks. Most of the money I had earned was starting to disappear when the market went haywire. It was time for a switch and I decided to start my publishing company. Once again, I didn't know how lucrative my next venture would become until I started selling more books than I could print back in 2002-2003. The market wasn't as saturated and I took advantage of it by creating a fanbase that have been supporting me for almost 10 years now. Though business has slowed down a bit, I'm fortunate and grateful that I have been able to sustain in this bad economy.

Those people who are interested in acquiring wealth through real estate, this is the best time to do it, while the market is down. I'm back in the real estate game and I plan to emerge a multi-millionaire in the next 5 years or so. Success is not waiting or looking for you, you must go out and seek it. If you set your priorities correctly, nothing should get in the way of your success.

Come share your stories of success ,and perhaps you may just insprire someone else with your personal tory of overcoming struggles to the path of success.

Why are you still in that closet?

Man, I'm a little fed up with this whole men on the downlow thing. The latest alleged casualty in this is Mr. Cee from hot 97, but really, fellas, if your choice is to be with a man, why hide it? I think that sisters have enough to deal with already, and to add the possibility of them dating a man who desires to be with other men is unacceptable. Not only that, the possible exposure to diseases is surmountable, because a wife or a girlfriend may not even be aware that her man is carelessly dibbing and dabbing on the other side of the fence. Not to say that gay people are more proned to diseases than straight people, but the risk can be higher if you're having unprotected sex with both men and women.

To all my thug-loving ladies who feel that a man is more masculine because he displays thugish characteristic, think again. If your grown ass man has no problem wearing his pants sagged below his ass, you should be concerned. If he randomly tries to insult homosexuals for no reason, you should be concerned. If he tries too hard to defend himself against homosexual tendencies that he may possess, you should be concerned. If your man seems to be a little too homophobic, you should be concerned, because he might just be too afraid of himself. The hardcore outer shell and attitude carried by some men should no longer be allowed to be a safehaven to conceal their homosexuality.

Ladies, get to know your man. No one can completely hide from who he truly is forever. I say this because I feel, as a man, I can be left exposed as well. I would hate to be the next man to date a woman who was dating a careless brother who was on the downlow.

Brothers, you should accept and be happy with who you are. If you truly want a family, but you're not into women, get a male partner and adopt as a gay couple. Don't go around playing with women's emotions, because when they're left scorned, all men become suspects and we all suffer the consequences. I thought being gay was meant to be happy? I think society has progressed to the point where the gay community has gained too much footing for a man to be afraid to come out the closet. The sooner you come out, the better your life and everybody's life around you will be. Be openly happy!

So you think you're a good man?

Most men today get easily offended when their manhood is challenged because of irresponsibilities. How can you call yourself a man when your priority is a new car, but your child's mother is not getting half the amount of your monthly car payment for child support? How can you call yourself a man when your objective is always the next piece of ass, but not the quality time you need to spend with your child or your family?

You can't call yourself a man if you're not responsible. Being responsible doesn't mean you can blame your lack of motivation or lack of work on the economy. Staying at home and complaining is not gonna help you get where you want to be. You have to make moves in order for anything to transpire. An intelligent man is a thinker who finds solutions to problems. You have to be a good role model for your children; teach them how get out of a bind; show them encouragement, get motivated; be a good father; be a good husband; be a good friend and take ownership for your mistakes.

Most of us didn't grow up with the best example of a good man in our lives, and that is all the more reason why we should break the cycle. Don't blame your faults on your father, be a better man than he was. Achieve more and let go of the excuses because they will weigh you down.

What makes you think you're a good man?

Ladies, share with us the good values of your good man.

How far would you go to please your mate?

Keeping up with the Freaky Friday theme, I would like to talk about the limit or limitless ways that a person is willing to please a partner. With the emergence of a new sexual revolution fueled by music viedos and other films and television shows, people are becoming more open-minded when it comes to sex and pleasing themselves. It's a known fact that most men fantasize about a threesome, but  the need to experiment with another woman is also becoming popular among some women. While most people keep in perspective that it is only a fantasy, there's a minority few who go the long way to make their fantasy come true.

There will always be a double standard when it comes to sexuality between men and women, however, more men are also becoming open-minded and liberal to the idea of allowing their women the pleasure of their fantasy. Some men are not intimidated with the idea of their woman bringing another man into the bedroom. Kudos to them and I guess it's good for the women who want such experience, but I'm opting out of this one.

Are we moving towards a society that lacks moral judgment, or is our mind taking us to unlimited boundaries sexually?