Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Why I can't stop writing

As a youngster, I endured a lot of pain and misery. I never felt like I belonged with either side of my family. Being raised by my paternal grandmother, whom I felt sometimes resented my presence, I never felt a connection to anybody. There have been many other tragic events in my life that I can't share publicly, but I feel that I was blessed with the talent to write for a reason. I'm not saying that I'm more special than the next person, but I've endured enough pain when I was younger until I graduated from college to last me a lifetime. While on campus in college, I was able to mask my pain by acting like a normal student. When I drove home on most weekends, there weren't really any homes to go to. I mostly stayed with friends or family who felt that was the only way they could help me. I have so many stories that I have yet told, sometimes I wonder if I will be writing until I'm in my late 90's(hoping to live that long).  The best has yet to come while I still wrestle with my personal issues. Most of the reasons that I keep writing stories about overcoming the odds is because I feel that I've overcome a lot in my life. I wasn't supposed to be here living this great life that I feel I have. I should've been miserable and unproductive and may be even a vagabond, but my fighting spirit kept me fighting and I never stopped.

I remember when my daughter was born prematurely and the doctor told me she was going to be a quadriplegic for her entire life, it was the most painful thing that I had ever heard. She was my first and only child and I didn't know what to do. My daughter kept fighting and I also fought for her by providing the best therapy and aftercare possible for her. I need to make her feel that she's not alone in this world. Though her mother and I are divorced, she still needs to know that she has two loving parents and 2 comfortable homes. I'm not trying to be superdaddy, I just want to be the best parent to my daughter that I wished I had.

Also, the fact that I've received so may letters and emails from my readers affirming the changes that some of my books have caused in their lives, this keeps my motor running and the zeal to continue to pen the best stories possible. I wrote Neglected Souls because I felt neglected by those who were supposed to be there for me; I wrote The Most Dangerous Gang in America: The NYPD, because my fate could've ended like Sean Bell at the hands of police; I wrote Meeting Ms. Right because I always had dreams of finding my other half to build a family with (that didn't work the first time around); And I wrote Ignorant Souls because I felt so many of us lack the education, knowledge and reasons why we struggle so much in our daily lives,   but after releasing those books, I found out I was not alone in my predicament. For those reasons and many more, I can't stop writing.

I would like to thank all of you who have made this possible for me for the last 10 years. It's been a very therapeutic journey for me and I understand it's an ongoing process.