Too many people don't give a second thought to what they're exposing their children to. In my past work experience, I noticed how too many mothers carelessly dragged their kids to the welfare office to talk to their caseworker about foodstamps, section 8 and other necessities for their families. Often times, they are frustrated and angry and it's never a pleasant experience. I've also seen people roll blunts and freely light them up in the presence of their young children without any consideration for the child's health. Some parents have no problem sending their young kids to the fridge to fetch them a beer. I have even heard parents ask their children to light up their cigarette for them. Smoking around their children has become second nature. Are you kidding me? Why wouldn't these kids grow up feeling it's okay to make these habits a part of their adult life?
When we expose children to our bad habits early in life, we are limiting their choices, because kids tend to emulate behaviors diplayed by their parents. In order to help our children develop good habits, we have to acquire and display those good habits as well. You should not be surprised that your kid knows how to curse like a sailor by the age of five, if that's all she/he's ever heard coming out of your mouth(I have to catch myself sometimes). Children need molding, structure, discipline and more than anything, good examples. If you're setting poor examples for your children, don't be surprised if their lives turn out to be like yours or worst.
The next time you decide you want to go to the bank to make a deposit or withdrawal, take your child with you and explain the process to him/her. The next time you need to research something at the library, bring that child with you. It's always a good example when your kids can see you get up everyday to take yourself to work. Sitting around the house all day long and moping will only suggest to a child that life can go on without having a job, responsibility and all will be provided for, however limited that lifestyle may be.
Please pay attention to what you're exposing your children to!
all points well taken.... obsessed with books and library and working and so my kids are in fact emulating those good examples but my weakness for sweets, screaming/yelling when upset are also examples of me and they see this and emulate.... so i see your point....thank you for pointing out the weakness and strengths of parenthood...you know they don't come with books... there are no real education classes for each temperament of a good and bad child...we actually have choices to help them to make them as great as us or as weak as we are.... yes the blessings we receive when we become parents are immeasurable, if only each day we can remember how cool they really are with all their wits about them...
ReplyDeleteChildren don't come with a manual when they're born, but we learn how to be good parents from our parents. Unfortunately, that element is missing in too many black families.
ReplyDeleteWe have too many moms and dads who are addicted to the struggle and too self absorbed to see that our words and behavior have a great impact on our children. Thus, we end up stuck in a cycle of poor parenting and bad role models for our children. Nobody is perfect, but we can always strive to be better parents and role models.