Richard Jeanty: The Man Behind It All
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Do women encourage deadbeat behavior?
It is my belief that a man can only get away with so much because women allow that to happen. If you have a child with a man, it is only fair that you make him contribute emotionally, spiritually and financially to that child's life. Whether you get the court involved and you decide to have an adult conversation with your man, you need to make sure he's involved.
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"you make him contribute...." Mothers don't need one more responsibility!!! How can you encourage deadbeat behavior? When is it a man's responsibility to accept the consequences of his actions. You created a life, therefore you should willingly contribute emotionally, spiritually and financially. Why does it always have to come back to the woman? You can't make anyone do something they don't want to do. There are many unfortunate examples of that in this crazy world. People(men and women) need to be responsible for themselves!! We need to stop making excuses for men by suggesting that women encourage this or any other poor behaviors. Step up and be a man that takes care of his responsibilities, and if you don't then you have no one to blame but yourself. In the end, he is missing out on the most wonderful experience in life: parenting.
ReplyDeleteWomen should ensure that the father is in our children's lives. However, we cannot force a man to be present and involved.
ReplyDeleteInstead of trying to haul our baby daddy to court month after month for child support, we need to be more selective about who we procreate with.
If a man is lazy, irresponsible and immature before kids come on the scene, that behavior probably won't change after they arrive.
Men have gotten away with poor behavior mainly because the women don't hold them accountable. At the end of the day, only the child ends up suffering the consequences of the parents' poor choices.
ReplyDeleteParenthood is a wonderful experience, if a man has any sence of responsibilities a woman should not have to make him contribute to his own child's life.
ReplyDeleteWho pick the father?
Who choose to have the child?
Who should ensure the father of a child has what it takes to be a father? if a woman knows a man has 6 children with 6 different women what the hell would she wants from him, let along adding another child to his collection for?
LET'S GET REAL HERE!
A man can getawy with anything if a woman let him. Who do we have to blame?
Needless to say, some women do tend to encourage deadbeat behavior!
Women are as much accountable as men! They talk about men should do this and that, shouldn't they prepare themselves academically, built a career, prior of having a child with a man just encasse things don't workout? some women just can't wait to have a child by a man just so they can collect childsupport!
ReplyDeletepersonal story; I am a single parent and my son father is an asshole I saw the sign after I got pregnant then it has gotten worst! over the years. I had to use the court system to make him financially responsible however the other stuff must come from him alone.. I do not think that women allow this type of behavior. I believe that in most cases you have no other option but to accept THE BEHAVIOR BECAUSE IT IS WHAT IT IS. and them move on. Yes the child suffers.. You can ask him to do better you can have your child ask them to just show up.. However, you can not make a grown man be responsible after they have made it clear for years that they are not going to get any better. Not saying it right! But you gotta accept the facts, forgive the jackass and make your child life the best life you can offer him with all the love in the world... and know that you did your best...
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to see that we have started some kind of dialogue about this crucial issue in our community. I do believe there's always more than one side to a story, but I'm sure no self-proclaim deadbeat would bless our board with his point of view.
ReplyDeleteLadies, In the meantime, you should try to keep your love goggles off as the signs of a deadbeat is always relevant in the beginning of a relationship. No one man can hide who he truly is for too long. Let's not curse the baby mama out because she hasn't received child support from your new man. If he's not willing to take of her kids, your kids will be dealt the same fate should you ever make the mistake of getting pregnant by him.
As for the fellas, a real man cares about the well-being of his children. If you're not taking care of your seeds, you're a buster and a bum!
My beliefs are it is a woman's responsibility to ensure she takes proper precautions to avoid getting pregnant by a man who displays a lack of character, commitment, compassion, is not goal-oriented, and has several kids with various women. You can't make someone feel a certain way or contribute to an action he has basically no control of. If a woman decides to abort the child, he has no control. If she wants to keep the child, again he has no control. It is a woman's body and ultimately she has total control of the situation. Many men have been trapped into taking care of children after blatantly expressing no interest in parenthood for one reason or another. If there were laws in place stating child support will not be received unless the couple were married, there will definitely be a lot less children born out of wedlock.
ReplyDeletei love the word exchange...pen to paper...would not come to light... for the many anonymous...i believe that yes we can enable another to be disgraceful... and life goes on...it takes 7 years for revenge/payback to find the woman at fault and 10 for a man...this calculation is not precise but meanwhile do not hurt the other because of your pain in your pocket or heart... it never pays well...the sweetest revenge if we must use that word...is the success you find without the one you once thought was the ideal partner....all the signs are not meant for you... a real woman... a real man ... either will do right by the child if they are right at all as human beings... the best of these truths lie in us not not the other...imagine if you become something no one ever imagined....
ReplyDelete